How hard can it be, really ?

How hard can it be, really? 

 

I was perusing a chi-chi bookstore, wandering through the craftsman section when I first saw it. That idyllic scene. A beautiful cedar strip canoe, perfectly framed and illuminated by daybreak on some quiet backwater somewhere begging to be paddled by...you (read: me ). I bought the book, and then discovered just how insane these guys were. It sure seemed like the hard way to do things, but I continued to simmer the daydream. 

She said "get in the boat."

"No, I don't think so.." that's me.

She said "you already look like a dick with that pink spray skirt on, so with your dignity gone, the adventure is all that's left. Get in the boat, pussy."

I don't like when women talk to me like that. It's so...common.

The boat was a 12 or 13 foot roto-mold cigar shaped kayak with a clip on skeg, white in color, but faded through to almost transparent in high exposure areas. I figured it was only a matter of time when stepping into this kayak would actually be stepping through this kayak. But the drug took hold immediately, and I fought the urge for seven years. 

A couple of years ago, holding a small wad of cash in my hand and thinking if I was smart, I would wipe out the remaining credit card debt, I chose not to be smart. It was easy for me. I Googled 'used kayaks, Winnipeg', found a plastic red one for $600, paddle and skirt included, hardly never used at all. Seemed like a real good deal, and it was red. 

Water levels were high that spring, and the mighty Red River was intimidating as hell, so I stayed to the smaller run-off swollen streams. The water levels stay higher now than previously. There has been much higher agricultural land cleared and wetlands reclaimed in the downstream watershed which brings added access to the smaller waterways. I'm not so sure all those folks like us paddling through their backyards, but if it's navigable, it's crown land. Or some such rot. I really enjoyed those leisurely paddles, but I quickly realized that this boat was short, 14 feet, fat, 24 inches and slow. Thus I began the education.

Two months later, I had the 18 foot fiberglass greenland style skeg boat with a carbon fiber crooked paddle. I was totally spoiling myself. This boat  was so much faster than the plastic one, I could actually cover some distance relatively quickly. So I paddled. And made bigger credit card payments.

I live in a somewhat gang ridden neighborhood that resists gangs in a rather demonstrative style, so I don't spend a lot of time walking the streets. But the cost of living is just above squatting, and I'm five doors from the river bank. It's a bachelor paddlers heaven. I built a collapsable cart that stows in either boat, and one that actually works that I lock to a tree. I keep my boats in the old store front attached to my squat, ( dumplex is also appropriate ) and can just squeak them out the door without dinging the Harleys and Escalades parked in front. I strap on the cart and it's quick drag over the levy to black mud of the Red. It's not the cleanest entry and the mud is thick and pungent. Did I mention 5 doors down? I had a door screwed to a milk crate attached to an 8 foot 2 by 6 as a dock. It wasn't so great. I started collecting plastic pallets and 2 litre pop bottles so I could construct a slightly more usable platform in the spring. If the glue sniffers don't cut it loose to go on a Huck Finn adventure, it should be a good summer. Older sister is renting a cottage in la-la lake country, and we shall live like the exalted ones for a brief fortnight. I am seeing myself in my newest boat, the yet be built pile of disposable income in my  humble workshop.   

Some where at the end of paddling season here, I started thinking about doing some thing other than what I was doing because now that I make enough money, I'm bored. My job is wearing out my hands through joint deterioration, athritis and trigger finger(s). I figure If I have to contribute to these things, I might as well build something special for me before I completely change gears. 

I'll build myself a boat. I actually thought it might be a good alternative income. HA! Going online will show you that there are quite a number of builders out there and the ones doing well are selling plans to guys like me. They also custom build in their boatshops by the sea. They are sea kayaks after all. I live in the geographic centre of Canada. Almost. I'm closer to Arctic Ocean than the other two. There are like a zillion builders in Washington state, and none here. ( well, that I know of, and what do I know? ) So, at worst, I will have a few boats more than when I started. At almost 20 feet long, they're not hard to store....